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Over these last four plus years I've been poked and probed and had plenty of tests. But today's test was brand new. It's full name is quite a mouthful: electroencephalogram. So I understand the need to shorten it down to EEG. It's surprising, really. With my history of seizures and a pre-disposition towards them, you would think I would have had this test years ago. But no.
It all started the day before Halloween. It was a Friday afternoon. One of the last warmish days before the chill of autumn and its cousin, winter, would knock on our door. So we bullied our kids into doing some yard work. This morning I woke up hurting - various aches and pains associated with my "condition". We were assigned to clean the church at 8am and I had every excuse to stay in bed and not go clean with the others.
I forced myself to get up and go over to the church with my family. Halfway through scrubbing the toilets I realized I felt pretty good! Most of my discomforts had disappeared. I testify that when we are about the Lord's work we will be blessed in beautiful and unexpected ways. Thank heavens for tender mercies! I was granted a tender mercy as I began radiation treatment.
It was disconcerting to have my head in a stiff mask snapped securely to a table with a large machine whirring about me for several minutes. The radiation technicians were really amazing, always very friendly and making sure I was as comfortable as possible. They always offered me a warm blanket and allowed me to listen to my choice of music via Pandora. Jacob suggested that I request Louis Armstrong, which I did. I felt ridiculous. I was lying down in the teachers' lounge next to the table with my feet sticking straight up in the air. Thank goodness I had worn slacks that day! My family doctor was just as confused as I was and supposed my "episodes" to be vasovagal responses. This made no sense to me because Google told me this was a fancy term for "fainting spells" and I had never yet fainted or felt as if I would. But to humor him, and to rule out the vasovagal theory for good, I lay down with feet up as per his suggestion to get increased blood flow to my brain. If anything, it made me feel worse, my head throbbing just above my right ear near my temple. I pulled out my cell phone and called Jacob. This would be the fifth call from me about these "episodes" that he'd received in the last week. He told me to let the front office know that I'd be leaving for the day. He was rushing from work to pick me up and take me to the ER. For the curious, you can read more of what happened that day right here. And today it has been one year since that eventful Friday afternoon. Wow. As we headed into the Christmas season this year, My thoughts turned to gift-giving and I wondered what would be the greatest gift that I could offer. After some thought It occurred to me that one of the greatest gifts I have to offer is that of my testimony. Putting that testimony into words has been challenging
This quote attributed to Jack London was posted in my oncologist's office:
"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of a man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time." This latest round of chemotherapy has really kicked my butt. My original dose during 6 weeks of radiation was 140 mg once a day. This last round of chemo only lasted 5 days, but they had me on 400 mg of poison per day. I am still feeling crummy from it. I feel immense fatigue, my head is in a fog, my left arm and leg are weak and I am having trouble walking again... Feeling discouraged today, I realized I hadn't said my morning prayers. I also decided I need all the help I can get today - especially from my Father above who knows me best. I thought I was one of the lucky ones. Because my chemotherapy treatment is a nighttime pill (Temodar), I would avoid losing all my hair. Well it turns out that the radiation treatment affects the bad AND useful cells in my head resulting in side effects such as losing hair and suffering short term memory loss. What was I talking about?
I am no virtuoso, but I have always loved poking around on the piano. It was disappointing to have stroked and temporarily lost my left hand - and hence, half my song! My wonderful husband and son will take turns occasionally accommodating me on a Sunday afternoon by sitting next to me on the piano bench and playing one hand while I play the other. I love my men!
Well, I introduce to you "Grace" born of lots of healing, occupational therapy, perseverance, and... grace. |
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December 2020
About MeMy name is Andrea. I'm a Mormon mom in my 40's and I am fighting a rare type of brain cancer: Anaplastic Astrocytoma. |